Last time around I stopped journaling around 35 weeks and have an unposted blog from 37 weeks. It does feel harder to write near the end; there’s a lot of the same, with the same main thought being “I would like for this stage to be done now”. But, since looking back at my past experience has been so helpful for me, and Colin took these nice photos, I’m going to actually post this one.
It truly is a season where I have to take it one day at a time. The rollercoaster is real, in so many different ways. Somedays I’m exhausted and can barely roll out of bed, other days I’m ticking off all the boxes. Somedays I feel like an inspired mother who someday plans to homeschool her brood, and others I don’t know how I can possibly parent two kids when I can barely handle one. Somedays I feel like I am going to have my baby TONIGHT, and others I feel so normal that I figure it won’t come for weeks. The only thing consistent is the inconsistency, so at least I know to ride it out. The main thing I’m praying for is peace throughout my days. Peace to take it one day at a time, peace rather than impatience, peace despite all the unknowns.
I don’t remember feeling any of the “pre-labor” symptoms with Sloane that I’m currently feeling with Birdie, but I looked back at my birth blog and it looks like I had cramping in the week before her due date. I’ve had Braxton Hicks and cramping since 35 weeks so that’s definitely been an adjustment, at least mentally. Especially now, it’s hard not to hope that this means things will happen ASAP!
On the flip side, this makes the reality very apparent that these are our last weeks, days, and moments as a family of three. I find myself soaking up certain experiences in a deeper way than before. Imaginary play with Sloane, singing with her before bed, quiet mornings at the breakfast table. Yes, we will still do all these things, but they will be different, and I want to give them unique attention before the shift.
And aside from all the peace I am praying for to get me through these last weeks, I am taking the opportunity now to read as many books as I can! A good mental distraction, and I have to get that 2018 book goal somehow…